I just got back from my grandmother’s funeral. It’s been a long week of working and traveling. It was my first time dealing with the death of a family member. I actually wasn’t that sad because I didn’t have a close relationship with my grandma. It was just like a family gathering. I met so many people I didn’t know they were my family and they treated me so well, although one person was afraid of COVID-19 from me and my parents.
This funeral made me see every generation in our family, from young, middle-aged, and elders. I am one of the young. While walking to the temple, I came to realize that one day, I will turn to be one of those who are getting old. I just wonder what it would be like, will I have someone to look after me? If I died, what my funeral would look like? It’s not like I’m afraid of death, but I just don’t want to die now haha. I’m still studying and I have so many things I want to do. I just hope that I live until that point.
What hurts me the most is that my most beloved aunt is going to live alone for the first time. Although my other aunt lives nearby, she always goes out to work. My first aunt had taken care of my grandparents for more than 10 years, now those two had passed away. I don’t like the thought of the loneliness she is going to face, because for me, it’s really awful. I have experienced some of it during the quarantine and I almost became depressed. I just hope she will have some people to talk to. At least she has three dogs and eight cats, and some chickens, too. That wouldn’t be so bad, I guess. She told me to call her sometimes, which hurt me even more because for the past few years, I never called her. I decided to do it from now on.
I can’t help thinking back to when I had such great times with her. She always took me on a trip, spoiled me, and cooked for me. She did everything a parent could do for a child. I had never felt so grateful until now. Sometimes, things just take time to reveal their true value. I wish I could visit her sometime in the future, after the COVID situation improved.
For my mom, I could feel her great pain. She had been through a lot in the past few years. She lost grandpa, and now grandma. She felt bad about my aunt living alone, and for being far away from her hometown.
Death, it is something inevitable and we all know that. However, we can’t help feeling sorrowful. My dad and I can only comfort and support my mom as best we can. The death of my grandma makes me want to take care of my mom more, especially for mental support. Losing both parents must have been painful for her, and I promise myself to support her as much as I can.
There’s still so many years until I graduate and live on my own, by that time, I hope I will be able to take care of my parents just like they did for me since I was born.
